my 10 particular daily habits

Oh you know. Just some things I have done recently.

  1. Due to the thickness of my thighs, climbing up more than 2 flights of stairs is not an option. Therefore, I prefer to stand in an enclosed metal box that pulls me up to where I need to go. Thank god for the pulley system.
  2. I had a follow-up interview yesterday. I impressed my future employer by showing off my ability to balance on my toes while elevating my heels 3 inches.
  3. I spend most days expending a great amount of physical energy running around and hitting people with a special metal stick. Don’t worry. The attackers on the field agree to this type of abuse.
  4. I struggled this morning with a reoccurring choice. I can either risk releasing the pain in my stomach and hoping it will not make a noise…or I can squeeze my cheeks and wait it out. I chose waiting because of the a risk of a lingering smell. This is only a “I’m in public don’t embarrass yourself” decision.
  5. I chose to put metal wires under my boobs. The contraption is tight enough to lift the girls while not restricting my breathing.
  6. I take precautionary measures to make sure my peers do not know my body temperature. Thou shalt not show pit stains nor hard nips!
  7. Every morning and (most) nights I put paste on a random assortment of hard bristles. I then use these same bristles to rub against my teeth. This is meant for cleansing.
  8. I prefer to wedge a piece of cloth between my buttocks. This cloth is particularly convenient when wearing tight pants.
  9. Some people like to manipulate their hair color, or even their eye color. I like to change my skin color by literally baking it.
  10. To pass the time or to ease my nerves I munch on some keratin protein. Well, that is if I haven’t painted my protein in order to look pretty.

About katecip

21 yr old student wishing to share my views of the world to any one who cares to listen.
This entry was posted in body parts, boobs, culture, habits, people, sports, style, weird and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to my 10 particular daily habits

  1. catietilton says:

    HAAHAAHHAHHAHAH i love it.

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